


Draco Malfoy Is NOT Gay!

by JewelQueen



Series: Fics From Turbohell for Being Homophobic (aka XPosts from my FFN) [7]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alive Albus Dumbledore, Alive Severus Snape, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempt at Humor, Crack Treated Seriously, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Fluff and Crack, Good Draco Malfoy, Good Malfoy Family (Harry Potter), Hogwarts Seventh Year, Humor, M/M, Meddling Albus Dumbledore, Mpreg, Mpreg Harry, Very Minor Reference to Lasting Trauma and Minor Disability, Voldemort Dies (Harry Potter), absolute crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:33:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27718238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JewelQueen/pseuds/JewelQueen
Summary: In a timeline where Draco and his father were working with the Light towards the end, and Potter somehow found a way to defeat Voldemort much earlier and easier, how does that affect their relationship moving forward?  And why doesn't anyone believe Draco when he says he's not gay??(It's ok to be fooled this time--it's at least 25% less pure crack)
Relationships: Background Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Seamus Finnigan/Blaise Zabini
Series: Fics From Turbohell for Being Homophobic (aka XPosts from my FFN) [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2023406
Kudos: 39





	Draco Malfoy Is NOT Gay!

**Author's Note:**

> Part of a major XPost (see series name); originally written ~2008, completed with companion fic, some edits
> 
> Bit of less absolute crack as this is a sort of prequel and has some depth to it, but, you know..

It was the night of the final battle--(not that Voldemort knew and the Light could only hope for at the moment)--and the great Dark Lord decided to call all his minions to witness the Malfoy heir officially join their side. Many of them were eagerly waiting for the signature blonds to appear, it had been a long time since any had to do initiation and many were looking forward to seeing the Malfoy brat cry. Then, finally, the family apparated in. Lucius got down on his knees as soon as he was there, his son following only a moment later.

"It's about time you showed up." Voldemort hissed. Lucius was glad his son was able reign in control enough to not shudder at the voice. "I was waiting ever so long for this--" Both Father and Son smirked at this, keeping that smirk hidden by their bowed heads. "Come, let's get this over with..."

Lucius stood up and glanced over to his son. "My Lord, my son wishes to give you something."

"Very well, what is it--and do hurry." Voldemort said, already bored.

"Your greatness, it is my pleasure to give you this..." Draco murmured a spell and the whole Order of the Phoenix apparated to his hideout, including Potter. Voldemort took one look and turned to angrily glare at the two.

"You traitors! _Avada Kedrava_!" Twin spurts of ugly green light shot out at them, both missing because of Potter's shielding spell. Draco turned to look at him and nodded, expressing his thanks, and Potter simply shrugged in reply.

"Why you...!" Voldemort cursed his long-time enemy, and then turned to the Malfoys with his eyes gleaming darkly. "I will finish with you two later. Attack, you bumbling fools!" With that threat out of the way, the battle commenced. Harry and Voldemort were in the middle, of course, throwing spells at each other. Voldemort tried to take Potter down with a few Unforgivables, but Harry always had a powerful shield that dissipated the curses on contact. And then Harry retaliated with multiple spells that always broke through Voldemort's shield.

"Give up yet, Tom?" Harry taunted as he dodged yet another spell unscathed.

"Never!" Voldemort growled as he sent red sparks up into the air. Suddenly the atmosphere chilled and the air froze up. Harry laughed, sending out ghostly puffs.

"You think that a bunch of Dementors can stop me? _Expecto Pa_ \--"

"Not normal Dementors, Potter, no. But Dementors that I trained myself, _oh yes_." Voldemort looked on with glee as Harry was finally stumped. He even gave Harry a few moments to try and block them, but his _patronus_ did not work against them. Voldemort merely cackled as his mortal enemy winced in pain from his mother's scream echoing in his mind in such an unprecedented strength. And then, taking his time to relish dishing insult to injury, he slowly raised his wand back up. " _Crucio_ \--"

Draco, who did not want to have a debt unfulfilled with Potter and saw this, jumped in the way yelling, "Potter!"  
Harry snapped out of it, looking a lot worse for wear, just as Draco was being tortured with the never-ending curse. Eventually, Draco fell into unconsciousness even while his body was still being ravaged by it. Harry turned to Voldemort with his eyes ablaze at seeing one of his newly joined members, even if it was Malfoy, tortured like that. Voldemort just laughed some more.

"Oh, so does little Potter and junior traitor Malfoy care for each other? I didn't know that you were that way for all the people you hated, _Harry_. Perhaps you like me too." All of his Death Eaters started to laugh at the joke; the battle had all but stopped at Draco's screaming, both sides at a stalemate with the impending sense of a tipping point just about to crest. a

"I didn't want to do this--" He started, teeth grit and almost bared in a snarl.

"Do what? Fall in love with boys? The-Boy-Who-Lived-Lives-For-Boys...and you sickened me before." The Death Eaters roared with laughter. You could practically see the steam coming out of Harry's ears.

" _Avada Kedrava Totalious_!" A darker green than _Avada Kedrava_ -green shot out from Harry's wand and hit Voldemort square in the chest, killing him instantly and all the Death Eaters too. (Besides Snape and Lucius, whom had taken a potion to prevent such dropping-down-dead from happening. "Unfit for a Malfoy to die like a common fly," Lucius had remarked, no one knew if he was joking or not.) As dizziness threatened to overcome him, Harry goes over to check if his charge, Draco Malfoy, was still alive; and he was relieved to find out that he was. Then, just as he was about to faint, he kicked Voldemort's head and snarled, "And I'm bisexual, bitch."

The first time that Draco awoke after that night, it was near the middle of summer. Draco groaned once he realized he was awake, startling Harry out of his zoned-outness. "Draco...Draco?" He said softly, using Malfoy's first name for the first time.

"Wha--Where am I?" Draco asks, blinking himself to awareness. His head was throbbing more than painfully, and his hands were twitching a bit. He appeared to be lying on a hospital bed. He turned to look at his surroundings and saw Harry wringing his hands on the edge of his seat, staring at himself with a whole lot of concern in those green eyes. "And what are you doing here?" He spat.

Harry smiled at him like he was a silly child, or maybe like he enjoyed Draco's venom. "Headquarters, of course. And you are still my charge until the end of summer, remember? So I'm responsible for you. " Of course Draco remembered. He would always remember spending any amount of time with Potter unwillingly. He would always remember the old coot forcing them to be partners in the war over what should have been a happy, no-school-so-I-don't-see-Potter-and-his-lackeys summer with that stupid twinkle in his eyes.

"Well, go away; I'm fine now." Draco growled, turning onto his side. He briefly caught the flash of something in Potter's eyes and crowed inwardly.

"Draco, don't be like that. I know that you have a major headache, and I can see your hands twitch ever so often." Draco turned around to face him.

"Fine!" He snapped, sitting up. "I'm not completely okay. I have a bloody insane headache, and I'm still suffering from after effects of that damn curse I received thanks to no-good-bloody-you. Now, give me my damned potions." Harry gave him a look and he groaned. " _Please_." He gritted out and Harry smiled, now happily getting the bottles he so politely requested.

"Here you are." He handed them over with an equally cheerful voice. Draco just glared at him as he downed them in a single swig.

"What reason do you have for being so bloody cheerful?" He asked.

"Well, besides the fact that Voldemort is dead, I guess it's because its a new day, the sun is shinning...and I get to spend this glorious time with the only person in the whole wide world that still hates my guts." Draco was nearly smothered by the sarcasm in his voice.

"Let me guess, Dumbledore told you--because we are supposed to be partners--to spend the day with me in order to establish friendship or some sugarcoated, merry, rainbows everywhere, sunshine-y faces thing?" He drawled with boredom.

"Ohhh, _so very close_." Potter spoke, his cheerful facade now overtly cracking with his suppressed anger. He then took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. "Ah, fresh air. Come, breath it with me." He continued to breath, eyes closed like that, even as Draco just stared dumbly at him. "I don't hear you breathing..." Draco just shook his head. "Breath, dammit." Potter growled and Malfoy glared at him as he picked up whatever this nonsense was.

To his complete horror, Draco found that with each breath all the negativity and stress he had started to fade away. His hands unclenched and the tremors he got in them still started to relax as well. He even got a soft smile on his face as he closed his eyes, his mind clearing as every thought just drifted away. He was empty, he was calm, he was at peace...

Potter must have leaned in to whisper because Draco felt his breath on his ears and neck as he spoke. "Dumbledore wants us to be lovers, not friends." He leaned back in time not to get whiplash from Draco's snap of the eyes and swivel of the head.

"WHAT!?" Gone went the calm, thanks to Dumbledore-peace-killer, among other titles.

Two hours later and Draco was still pacing the floor in front of the side of his bed, ranting about Dumbledore and the lot. "I didn't sign up for this! Oh, no, if I knew just what he was up to, I would have gone to the uncivilized America and live off of hamburgers." He paused to shudder. "Even Voldemort wouldn't have tortured me like this, and yet, the Head of the 'Light' is telling me what to do even after the war. Potter is his stupid, bloody pawn, not me!"

"I take offense to that." Potter said somewhat nonchalantly as he studied his nails, sitting on the bed. Draco continued on.

"See, there was a reason my whole family line followed the Dark-er side. They knew off the old bat's manipulative ways. Ohhh, and I should have known. There were signs, _so_ many signs. If only I had listened...wait a minute, this isn't my fault. It's yours!" He spun around to point directly at Potter.

"And _how_ is it mine?" Potter asked, crossing his arms.

"Because...because it is! I said so, that's why!" Potter raised an eyebrow as he stared at him.

After a moment, he slid off the bed. "Fair enough." Draco's jaw dropped. 'Potter's actually taking this?' Harry walked around Draco and stood behind him so Draco had to move to watch him. "I suppose I can find something to blame you for unfairly, too. Oh, now let's see..." He muttered, staring at his nails again. "Hmm, what to blame Malfoy for, what could I possibly blame him on...oh, I know!"  
He turned to meet Malfoy face to face. "You jerk!" He spat--literately, he made Draco flinch as it landed on his beautiful face. "You broke my bloody nail!"

"What!" Draco huffed, wiping his cheek. "I did not! I didn't even touch you, but you spat on me. Eww..." He grimaced as he looked at his hand, choosing to wipe it on Harry's robe.

"True, but then again, I didn't make you turn to the Light. In fact, I probably made the transition harder. So, what do you say? A truce? I'll even apologize--" Draco grabbed his outstretched hand the minute Potter said 'apologize', and shook it.

"A truce, then, Mister Potter."

"Good, Lord Malfoy." Harry grinned, seeing how Draco suppressed a shiver as he gave his former rival his actual title. "Now, then, I do sincerely offer my apologies towards my previous uncouth behavior and mannerisms to your and your posse. And I'm willing to forgive your un-niceties, as well."

"Apology accepted, Potter. And I digress my...apologies towards my very demeaning behavior and mannerisms to your own self and group."

"Your apology will be only accepted if you called me by my name, Draco." Draco pursed his lips.

"Very well...Harry."

"So, Draco, how about we get to know each other?" He flopped down, with some grace, onto the chair he was originally in.

Draco sat down much more smoothly onto the edge of the bed. "What are you suggesting, Po--Harry?"

Harry twirled his wand in his hands, looking at it as he spoke. "Whatever you want: Truth or Dare, simply asking random questions we've always wanted to know the answers to; I'm up for anything."

"I quite like the latter one." Draco said, easing himself into a dignified but relaxing position.

"Then it's settled. Ask me any question you want and I'll tell you as much truth as I can." Harry flashed him a toothy smirk and Draco sent one back.

"Ah, I see how it is. I'll start with a fairly simple question: What, may I ask, is your favorite color?"

Harry smiled. "Why, green, of course." Draco looked at him curiously. "Do you have something against me liking the color of my eyes?"

"No, I just thought..."

"I never said 'Slytherin green', did I?" Draco shut his jaw at Harry's apparently new found wit. "Now, your favorite color?"

"Gold--as in galleons, Harry." He added with a smirk at Harry's shocked look. "Favorite creature?"

"Dragons." Harry said wistfully, imagining the majestic fire-breathing beasts and reminiscing about all the thrilling times he spent around them in his head. He raised an eyebrow at Draco's cough, noticing a faint blush. "What?"

"Nothing. Just, _Draco_... _Dragons_." Harry flushed at the realization as well and stammered an explanation. Draco cleared his throat again and Harry somehow recovered.

"Well, your favorite creature, then?"

"Don't laugh, but...hippogriffs." Harry couldn't help it. He laughed at the absurdity of it. Draco scowled at him. "I said don't laugh!" He threw a pillow that hit Potter smack in the face, which only further increased his laughter. After awhile, Draco started in too. Until, that is, when Harry whacked him behind the head with the pillow he threw, sniggering from time to time.

Draco glared. "This calls for war," he growled, reaching for the other pillow so he wasn't defenseless. And thus, they started a pillow fight in which Harry would have won had not Madame Pomfrey came in and saw the mess they made with all the feathers and promptly kicked them out.

"I won, Potter." Draco teased, his hair mussed.

"Nuh-uh, Malfoy. I so had you pinned." Harry grinned, his hair black and white from feathers stuck in his hair and it even messier than thought possible. He plucked a feather out of his hair and dropped it.

"See, always knew you were a chicken, Harry."

"Oh, come here you. You're gonna pay for that!"

"I'm not suicidal like you, Harry!" Draco said running away, squeaking when Harry started to catch up to him after than comment.

"Gotcha!" Harry cried as he tackled Draco down to the floor harmlessly. Both boys were breathing a bit heavier as they laid on top of one another, this noticed by Harry first when he got the sudden urge to kiss the blond boy below him. He saw Draco's pink cheeks and pink lips, enticing for some reason even as said boy was staring back at him expectantly with a softer version of his typical haughty look. Harry gulped, leaning in slightly as if he was going to follow that urge before taking back control of his faculties and jumped up. He gave his hand to help Draco stand up, which Draco accepted, and questioned himself if the flicker of want really existed in those silver eyes or if it was all some odd projection.

A few weeks go by and the boys started to actually get close with one another. There were no more incidents since the last time; in fact, they silently and mutually agreed not to talk about it or anything of that nature. By now, they slept in the same room--even bed at times--and wore each other's clothes. They could even finish each other's sentences...sometimes. But it wasn't that much of an accomplishment, seeing as the only other company was the occasional Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy, house-elves, Madame Pomfrey, and in passing, Albus Dumbledore. However, they despised seeing their Headmaster's twinkling blue eyes because it reminded them of his 'manipulative doings' and...that day.

"So, what do you want to do?"

"I don't know, what do you want to do?"

"I dunno...Ow! What was that for?" Harry asked, holding his offended head.

"A little while." Draco drawled, laying back down on the bed in their room. Harry sat on the floor, his back to the bed. So he had to twist around to watch Draco be bored. Which, to put it eloquently, was boring. He jumped on the bed and started to crawl towards Draco, bouncing along the way.

"Quit it, will ya?" Draco snapped and Harry froze, pouting. Draco sighed and scooted over, patting in the empty spot's direction. "Get over here if you're coming." Harry smiled and bounced even more to there, nearly shaking Draco off his side. This time he laughed. "Stupid Potter."

"Meow." Harry replied, doing his best impression of a cat's purr. Then he leaned over and licked Draco's face.

"Ewww, nasty, what was that for?" Draco asked as he wiped his face off.

"Just a little while, Drakie-poo." Harry said mockingly in a very high pitched voice, using their pet-names that they had come up with out of boredom. He started to cackle like mad as he ran away into the bathroom.

Draco smirked and followed him, knocking on the locked door softly. "Snook-ums, oh Snook-ums. Aren't you going to let Daddy in there?" He replied with his pet name. "Snook-ums?" He asked a bit worried. He grabbed the handle and turned it with surprise. The door squeaked as it opened and Draco stepped in. "Harry?" He whispered.

"Hey, Drakie-poo!" Harry shouted from behind him, making him jump in fright.

"Merlin, don't do that! You scared me."

"Sorry." Harry said with his lopsided grin. "But, do you wanna go for a fly?" He asked, holding up two brooms. Draco smiled in reply.

They flew around outside in the very enclosed yard in circles, wondering what to do since there was no snitch. But Draco could only take so many circles after being bored all day. "How about we have a challenge; do stunts that the other has to mirror perfectly. And the loser has do whatever the winner asks."

"Sounds good." Harry shouted from the other end. "So, are you ready to lose Malfoy?" Draco could see his smirk.

"Not a chance, Potter." And so it began.

Of course, with his natural talent and experience at dives, Potter was winning. However, Draco did give him a run for his money. He actually led by 3 at one point. "Give up yet?" He asked as he did four consecutive flips backwards.

"Never!" Harry replied, completing them a lot slower and a bit more shakily than Draco. So then the score was 9-7, Draco then leading by 2. Now the score was 14-13, Draco only just behind. And all he had to do was spin three times in mid-air, hang off his broom for 25 seconds, climb on backwards and do the Wronski Feint. Piece of cake, right?

Draco gulped, preparing himself, and just as he closed his eyes it started to rain. And by rain, I mean pour. The two were soaked in a matter of seconds and, of course, their wands were left in their rooms. Harry flew over to a large tree whose long branches protected him from the onslaught of rain--mostly. "Draco, come on over here!" Draco hesitated, but turned around eventually. He dismounted with a shudder from the cold and wetness.

"You know, they say body heat is the quickest way to warm up." Draco nodded along as Harry spoke, quaking like a leaf, just about prepared to do anything Harry asked of him. But then Harry sneezed.

"Oh, nice. Very smooth." Draco said, barely keeping his teeth from chattering. "Otherwise, I would have followed your proposal." Even so, Draco came closer to Harry. He could imagine the warmth that Harry's arms would bring, along with comfort, and it was very tempting.

"Draco?" Harry whispered.

"Harry?" Draco mocked.

"You know what else?" He continued softly.

"What?"

"I still won." Draco paused to think about it and in the end Harry was right. He hadn't made up that many rules, more like flimsy guidelines, because he was so bored. And seeing as they both stopped playing, Harry was in the lead still.

"So?" He said a bit haughtily.

"You have to do that one thing that I ask." Draco gulped, seeing numerous humiliating experiences flash in his mind. "Come here, will you?" Draco slowly took the few steps between them, wondering what on Earth was he going to do as he stepped into Harry's embrace. "Now," Harry leaned in so his breath tickled against Draco's ear. "All I want you to do...is to let me...kiss you."

Surprise sparked in Draco's eyes, watching Harry descend down on his lips. He felt him nip at his bottom lip ever so gently, and Draco sighed with pleasure. He wrapped his arms at the customary place behind Harry's neck, and opened his mouth to deepen their kiss. Harry ran his fingers across Draco's wet hair, causing him to shiver even though they somehow started to burn up. And Harry moaned as Draco tugged on his hair while sucking on his tongue.

Tiny droplets of rain trickled down Draco's face and Harry caught them with his tongue, and started to nibble Draco's ear. Draco gasped at the pleasure he felt and moved his mouth onto Harry's neck. Neither of them noticed how tight their pants suddenly became until they brushed up against one another, eliciting waves of pleasure and groans. Harry panted as he looked into Draco's eyes. "Let's finish this inside." He ghosted on a breath and Draco nodded, seeing as how it stopped raining and he had some pressing matters to attend to.

Harry and Draco were decidedly not bored anymore as they reached their last days of vacation. But a new problem had arisen.

"Draco, what are we going to do?" Harry whined as Draco stroked his hair on their bed.

"I don't know Harry, what can we do?"

Harry pouted. "This is all Dumbledore's fault, he was the one who wanted this to happen and now he won't help us."

"I know, love."

"Dray, you aren't helping." Draco just hummed to himself. "What if we walk into--"

"We talked about that, it won't work."

"Well, then, how about--"

"Nope. That has too many complications." Harry sighed.

"I know! What if we go back and pretend to hate each other's guts just slightly less, and then form an alliance or whatever so we can quickly become what we are now?" Draco's hand stopped, hovering right above his head.

"Actually, that might just work, Harry!" Draco cried.

Harry frowned. "There's only one problem." Draco looked at him expectantly. "We won't get to being what we are now quick enough for it to still be believable for what I want from us."

"And what is that, love?" Draco asked. Harry hesitated and then whispered it into Draco's ear. Draco smirked before putting his hands to better usage.

So, Draco and Harry went to school, putting their plan into action. Dumbledore officially announced at the Welcoming Feast that the Malfoys were working for the Light, and that Voldemort and his Death Eaters were no more. Everyone cheered, and Harry toasted to Draco and Draco to him secretly as everyone was in merriment. But of course, Dumbledore saw this and winked his always twinkling eyes at them. And they both groaned inwardly knowing that he had actually somehow gotten what he wanted like always.

About a week into the school year, Draco accepted Harry's 'truce' and Hermione hooked up with Ron finally. The boys gave the school one month of being civil and friendly, before they went and did all the things that were normal to them. The Gryffindors and Slytherins quickly followed the leads of their most popular respective members and gave up overtly trying to be enemies; instead they also were mostly civil, because they either got one of the two threatening and screaming at them no matter the House, or both would descend upon them and hex them until they were scarred into compliance. And slumber parties at random Houses also became regular occurrence thanks to the dynamic duo. But Harry had to go and ruin all that they had finally accomplished as normal.

On the first day, Draco simply thought Harry caught something, seeing as a bug was going around. Or that perhaps he is just throwing another hissy fit he was notorious for. He personally entertained the thought that Harry was working on something for just the two of them. By the second day, he started to get worried, especially after seeing Hermione's perplexed expression at Breakfast.

Draco skipped Lunch to talk to all the professors and Madame Pomfrey. In reality, he just annoyed them with his constant badgering and further exceeded their own worry. He skipped the rest of the day organizing the elves to regularly check in on Harry, but they couldn't get past Harry's repelling charm and the Fat Lady wouldn't let him in. By the third day he was a nervous wreck. Pansy and Blaise had to basically escort him into the Great Hall if he ever was to eat anything.

"Draco, seriously, darling, what is the matter with you?" Pansy asked.

"It's Harry, Pans. Draco's all friends with him now and he's obviously taking him being a recluse badly." Blaise spoke for Draco. "Stop playing with your soup, Draco. I'm sure Harry will be down tomorrow."

"Really?" Draco perked up so much it was startling. "How do you know?"

Blaise smiled into the food that he was actually eating. "Because my boyfriend is about to slink over here and tell me how his plan went. Now, eat something. Harry wouldn't want you to be skin and bones when he returns now, would he?" Draco ignored him in favour of watching whomever was Blaise's boyfriend.

He spun around and whispered quickly, " _Finnegan_? Seamus Finnegan is your boyfriend? I didn't even know you were gay!"

Blaise sort of glared at him. "Why? Do you have problem with him, or me being gay?"

"No!" Draco blurted. "Seeing as..." He trailed off before he could expose their secret.

"Seeing as what?" Pansy asked excitedly. Luckily for Draco, Seamus choose that moment to join them.

"This seat taken?" He asked Blaise.

"No, of course not." Blaise replied.

Impatient like any Gryffindor, Seamus spoke to the group. "So, me and the gang went and checked on Harry and we didn't need your feather. We found out some pretty interesting things just by interrogating him."

"What? What did you find out? Is Harry sick? Dying? Oh, Merlin, please don't tell me he's dying!" Draco blurted out, everyone giving him the 'we'll talk about this later' look.

"No, no. Harry's fine. Turns out he's gay and..." Seamus continued.

"Harry is not gay." Draco growled. Pansy and Blaise raised an eyebrow, but Seamus was oblivious to the findings that they see revealed.

"If he's not, tell me why he has a copy of _Gay Relationships in the Magical World_?"

"Oh, that little bugger!" Draco muttered to himself, but everyone could easily hear him. "I knew he stole it! And my pink nail-polish has been missing ever since he took it to use it. I bet he has that as well. Dammit!" Blaise coughed and Draco picked his head up to look at him. "Yeah?"

"Is there something you want to tell us? Maybe the fact that you, yourself, are gay?" He asked gently.

"What? No. I'm not gay." He paused to read everyone's face. "Really, I'm not."

"You know," Seamus began. "The funny thing is is that Harry basically said the same things before he admitted to being gay by..."

"Harry is not gay and neither am I! I should know seeing as I'm his lover!" Draco practically shouted gaining the entire Hall's attention. Blaise and Pansy shared a look as he cursed under his breath. They didn't exactly go over how they were planning on coming out as a couple, but it definitely wasn't like this.

"Draco, by standing up and basically telling everyone that you're Harry's lover, it does sound like you are g..." Pansy said soothingly before Draco actually stood up and interrupted her.

"I am NOT gay!" He hissed to her. "Harry Potter is not gay, I'm not gay, we're both not gay! Okay?" He spoke to everyone before leaving, with Seamus following after him.

"So how long have you been together?" He pried out in the hallway.

"None of your damn business." Draco snapped.

"How long have you known you were gay?" Seamus tried again.

"This will be the last time I make myself clear. I AM NOT GAY. Do you read me?" Draco snarled. Seamus quickly nodded his head and Draco stormed off again. He had to sprint to catch up.

"You guys going to get married?" He asked hopefully for an answer.

Before Draco knew what he was doing, he sighed and answered. "I'm hoping to propose to him before the end of the year. But that might not work seeing as he's holding himself up in his room. I have it all planned out...sort of. And I suppose it's all thanks to Dumbledore, he was the one who made us start our friendship in the summer." Then he noticed whom he was talking to. "Finnegan, you better get lost and not tell a word of what I said or it will be your head!" He threatened before ditching the Gryffindor.

Seamus leaned up against the wall. "I probably should have told him that Harry's pregnant. Ah, well, Blaise can tell him. Which means I have to go and find him." He walked off with a smile not noticing the beetle there.

By the time Draco had blown off his steam and went inside his Common room, Blaise was there with the important piece of information. "So, Mr. I'm-not-gay-but-I'm-Potter's-Lover, explain yourself." He asked smugly. Draco flopped down onto a chair and ignored Blaise's hickeys.

"Isn't it obvious? We both are bisexual." Blaise stood there dumbly.

"Oh." He said after awhile, moving to sit down by Draco. "I guess that was obvious. But, hey, you do act more gay."

"Shut up." Draco growled playfully.

"Hey, Draco?" Blaise asked after a moment's pause.

"What?"

"How do you take on being a Father?" There was a pause.

"Why?" Draco finally spoke.

"No reason." Blaise replied.

"I don't know..." He huffed, crossing his arms. "I mean, I do hope I could be a good Father one day. And I do want lots of kids; I don't care about the 'one Malfoy heir' rule, I want lots!" Draco seemed to get over zealous about it all which made Blaise laugh.

"Good luck." He said patting Draco on the back as he left.

The next morning, true to Blaise's prediction, Harry made a surprise entrance in the Great Hall. Draco watched incognito with narrowed eyes as Hermione stood up only to sit back down and at the guilty looking Seamus. He knew Harry barely said anything before Seamus jumped up and confessed something before running off. Harry only shrugged his shoulders at it. Just as he turned back to his food, Harry had an outburst of laughter, drawing his attention again. Harry stood up and started to walk over to him.

"Oh, Drakie-poo!" Harry called waving papers at him. "You have got to read this!"

Inwardly, Draco smiled because he knew that they were officially coming out as a couple. Not that Harry knew Draco already blew that. So, he went along with the act. He sighed loudly and rubbed his temples. "Snook-ums, you know Daddy doesn't like being called that name." Harry gave one of his brilliant smiles, the ones that take Draco's breath away--not that Draco would ever let him know that--, and sat down by him.

"I know, that's why I say it." Harry thrusted the papers in Draco's face. "Now read."

Draco scanned the top page before scowling at it. "You know I don't read this junk, Harry." And that was not part of their act, he really didn't.

"I know that too, but it's hilarious Dray." Draco gave in at his real pet name and read it. It was only a little blurb, after all. This once couldn't hurt too badly.

_Harry Potter Is Gay, In Love With Draco Malfoy, And Pregnant?!_

_How did this happen? My sources say that it was all Dumbledore's doing. The great man, Leader of the Light, had seen their compatibility and secret desires. And so he decided to help the poor kids out. Reportedly over this past summer, and very much behind the scenes, Dumbledore gave the two an undetectable push. But, the ever-passionate rivals resisted until well after You-Know-Who's fall. It was then they started to open their eyes; however, they simply started with a truce and almost immediately became friends. Given their bitter--and yet, very heated--history, they took things slow until that fateful and desperately romantic kiss under that tree in the rain, where they finally locked lips and with destiny as lovers. And now, sources say they are expecting and planning to wed! Congratulations, and a Happy Life to them. We'll be watching!_

_-Report by Rita Skeeter_

Draco somehow managed not to laugh during his read, but he exchanged glances with Harry wondering if he told her any of this stuff. And he gave Harry a quick smile when he read about the engagement plans of his. He figured that Harry couldn't get past the title, so, might as well. Smirking, he reached for his goblet and spoke to him nonchalantly, into it. "Funny, I was sure that the dark-haired man with blazing emerald eyes and lightning-bolt scar that I slept with was only some psychopath from a society that adores you." Clearly, as everyone was listening and watching them, he only had to raise his voice a little for the whole Hall to hear. Now he just hoped Harry got his point.

Harry did, obviously. They spent too much time around each other for him not to. "Funny, I also was sure that the drop dead sexy blond with amazing silver eyes who was making love to me was a maniac from a society that adores you." Draco smiled as he placed his goblet on the table.

"So...is it really true?" Draco asked, grabbing one of Harry's hands.

"It's a boy and a girl, twins." Harry smiles back, softer, shyer. "...And they'll be just as beautiful as their Father was."

"Was?" Draco raises an eyebrow, brushing back Harry's bangs while grabbing his chin. Harry giggled at that.

"Stop, that tickles."

"I know what doesn't tickle..." Draco murmured smugly, before kissing him gently and slowly. Harry sighed. "And I know something else that doesn't tickle," Draco began before pulling out a black velvet box, hands shaking only slightly from both his old tremor and nerves . Harry gasped. "Will you marry me?"

Harry looked around almost like he was a caged animal before spying what he wanted. On top of the silent Slytherin table the article's headline they, or rather Draco, read caught his eye. He grabbed it once more and muttered a spell. He gave it back to Draco, who barely glanced at it before positively beaming at him and then pulled him and himself up into a much more passionate kiss. The newspaper flew up in the air and everyone else's eyes went to it, reading the new title: _Harry Potter Is Bisexual (And Says Yes)!_.


End file.
